19 WTF Danish Halloween Costumes
These aren't the outfits you're looking for.
It’s Halloween season, so over the next three weeks, I’ll be republishing my three-part “WTF Danish Halloween Costumes” series. No need to thank me. No, really.
Halloween is upon us!
For some, it means dressing up as Ironman, going trick-or-treating, binge-eating bags of candy, and passing out from sugar overdose.
For others, it means dressing up as a naughty nurse or sexy fireman, going to a party, binge-drinking bottles of liquor, and passing out from alcohol overdose.
And then there are those who look at all the Ironman and sexy fireman costumes and think “Nah, these are way too sane for my taste! I need a way to tell the world that I’m unstable, unpredictable, and likely a future serial killer. But, like, in a fun way!”
That final group is in luck!
Today, I will talk exclusively about Halloween costumes with a solid “WTF” factor. I’m not the first or the last person to comment on bizarre Halloween costumes. I am, however, perhaps the only one to focus on the lucrative Danish market niche. The atrocities listed below were found by looking exclusively at online stores in Denmark.
These Halloween costumes may or may not be available in your country, which should either make you upset or immensely relieved. I bet it’s the latter.
19. Work Out
The site describes this as a “sexy fitness costume.”
Apparently, “sexy” is code for “having Super Mario’s face forever trapped in your crotch.”
18. Blow-Up Witch
Something tells me you’re gonna need a much bigger broomstick, ma’am…wait...sir?!
17. Adam
What do you mean by “where’s your Eve”?
I’m dressed as Adam—my eccentric ballet-dancing neighbor with nipple warts.
16. Count Duckula
Finally, a Halloween costume that successfully combines two completely incompatible things: a purple coat and a red bow tie!
15. Jesus Costume
Jesus Christ!
14. Zebra Morphsuit
“Hey guys, what’s up?!”
“OH MY GOD THAT ZEBRA IS TALKING TO US! AAAAAAAHH! SOMEBODY SHOOT IT!”
“Dude, calm down, it’s just my Halloween costume.”
“Wow! Whoa! You totally got me! That costume is so damn lifelike!”
13. Killer B
“Ha! I’m a killer, and I’ve got the letter ‘B’ on me.
I’m ‘Killer B.’ ‘Killer Bee’!
Get it?! It’s a pun!
Hilarious! Ha! Haha! HAHAHAHAHHA!
Seriously though, I’ll chop your head right off, don’t fuck with me!”
12. Bananawoman
It’s a mango…it’s a lemon…it’s Bananawoman: the most nonexistent superhero ever!
11. Morphsuit Orange
It’s either a carrot or a urinary tract infection patient.
Or maybe a carrot with urinary tract infection.
That’s the beauty of this Halloween costume—it’s so versatile.
10. Top Shelf
Nice rack!
No, I mean, nice shelf.
Top! Top shelf!
Dammit.
9. Penguin Skinsuit
This actually gets credit for looking far more terrifying than Count Duckula ever could.
Bonus points for using the same red bow tie.
8. Bugs Bunny
OK, this kind of costume works great when it makes you look like Bugs Bunny.
It works far worse when you appear to be wearing Bugs Bunny’s skin as a trophy while brandishing his severed head atop of yours with a smug, triumphant expression.
7. Condom
This costume faithfully recreates the look of a standard condom, complete with limbs, red speedos, and a V-neck.
Then again, I sincerely doubt this Halloween costume would be improved by making it more realistic.
6. The Invisible Cat
The costume is aptly named “The Invisible Cat,” because indeed no cat is visible in that picture.
The cat—along with all other lifeforms—has been devoured by the humanoid embodiment of the Devil pictured above.
5. Cockroach
I love how this guy is so in character.
This is his absolute best “grumpy cockroach” impression.
He studied cockroaches his entire life, and today is his time to shine.
Hats off to you, sir!
4. Dancing Flower
At almost every Halloween party, there’s an obnoxious dude with an acoustic guitar and an idiot in a tacky plant suit.
Rarely are those two the same guy.
3. Disco Dracula
Dracula in his young, hip, party days and long before his tragic transformation into a duck.
2. Cannabis
Funnily enough, the cannabis plant is the only one in this picture with enough sense of shame to appear embarrassed by this whole situation.
1. The Well-Hung Scotsman
The surprising thing about this Halloween costume is that the giant penis isn’t a part of it.
That poor model has no luck getting any Disney gigs!
Originally published on October 25, 2012 on Nest-Expressed.com.
That Bugs Bunny costume is even worse. It looks like that guy slit Bugs's throat and crawled in through the only opening to get inside that delicious, delicious rabbit skin.
"It's teew biig fer ma sporrrrann....och, aye!"